via lucia - the time i broke your heart without your knowledge
she felt lonely, but not alone exactly. when she met him, it was like meeting an old friend. even in his strangeness, in his newness, she could feel herself laughing; she could feel the anger, the pain, oozing out of her like perspiration. and she almost forgot the boundaries for a moment, forgot that wives must not laugh so loosely with other men.
after a few glasses of wine, she wondered how she had let it come so far. standing quite near each other, it was almost as if they were husband and wife. in her drunkeness, she had blurred memory and reality and made this stranger a husband. in her laughter, she could feel herself forgetting about taboo.
when he touched her, she felt wanted -- she felt recognized and appreciated. after the first kiss came another one, more wet and passionate than the first. following this was the sobering moment when she realized she'd come too far. she questioned whehter she shoudl stop and go straight home, but truthfully, staying out late was not a lesson she was teaching herself; it was a lesson she was teaching her husband. he was the one who would suffer her absence.
as the stranger reached for her thighs, she knew this was what she needed. she cried, unsure if she could even enjoy sex with another man. she controlled their sex, choosing how fast and how hard; she could never have this kind of sex with her husband who, though an adventurous man, was never quite so encouraging. this was her sex and yet she felt like a tyrant, forcing long lost feelings out of their hiding holes.
she left the stranger's house knowing that she would never call on him again. she'd fulfilled her needs and contrary to her original plan, decided never to tell her husband. betraying him was satisfaction enough and there was no use breaking his heart over something so trivial, so malnourished and valueless.
that night, crawling into bed where her husband was fast asleep, she felt more alive and more in love than she'd felt in months. as he wrapped his warm, sleepy arms around her, she looked at his closed eyes and forgot the eyes of the stranger.
after a few glasses of wine, she wondered how she had let it come so far. standing quite near each other, it was almost as if they were husband and wife. in her drunkeness, she had blurred memory and reality and made this stranger a husband. in her laughter, she could feel herself forgetting about taboo.
when he touched her, she felt wanted -- she felt recognized and appreciated. after the first kiss came another one, more wet and passionate than the first. following this was the sobering moment when she realized she'd come too far. she questioned whehter she shoudl stop and go straight home, but truthfully, staying out late was not a lesson she was teaching herself; it was a lesson she was teaching her husband. he was the one who would suffer her absence.
as the stranger reached for her thighs, she knew this was what she needed. she cried, unsure if she could even enjoy sex with another man. she controlled their sex, choosing how fast and how hard; she could never have this kind of sex with her husband who, though an adventurous man, was never quite so encouraging. this was her sex and yet she felt like a tyrant, forcing long lost feelings out of their hiding holes.
she left the stranger's house knowing that she would never call on him again. she'd fulfilled her needs and contrary to her original plan, decided never to tell her husband. betraying him was satisfaction enough and there was no use breaking his heart over something so trivial, so malnourished and valueless.
that night, crawling into bed where her husband was fast asleep, she felt more alive and more in love than she'd felt in months. as he wrapped his warm, sleepy arms around her, she looked at his closed eyes and forgot the eyes of the stranger.
posted by Entertaining Lies at 12:08 AM
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